Looking at Difficult Behaviours From a New Perspective

How often do you stop and notice a beautiful snowflake or get excited over a snowfall? If you’re like me, not very often. I tend to grumble when it snows. The cold weather, slick drives, and extra work dampens my spirit. Grrr.

Not everyone feels the way I do.

My daughter, who we adopted, experienced her first snowfall at our home when she was six years old. Her eyes lit up as she looked out the window. “It’s snowing, it’s snowing,” she squealed. She ran towards the front door, threw on her boots, and charged out. No coat. No hat. No mitts. She flopped her body into the snow, flapped her arms and legs, and formed snow angels. Neither the cold nor the wetness bothered her.

My daughter sees snow as an endless opportunity for fun. She’s built snow forts, gone skating, skiing and tobogganing, and seized the occasional opportunity to throw a sneak snowball at someone. I’ve even caught her twirling in a snowfall with her mouth wide open catching flakes on her tongue.

At times, my life resembles a snowfall. Sometimes it’s a light dusting but other times, it’s a blizzard.

I hate “blizzards” when they involve my daughter’s behaviours. Her blast of insults and defiance means I must deal with her chilly attitude. This takes work. It’s easy to feel grumpy and want to say grrr, but my attitude is a choice.

I can choose to look at difficult behaviours as an opportunity instead of a frustrating annoyance. It’s an opportunity to teach my daughter new skills. It’s an opportunity to connect with her on an emotional level as I address her feelings. It’s also an opportunity to foster trust as she realizes over time that my steadfast love hasn’t wavered.

These opportunities will help my daughter heal from her broken past and grow into the woman she’s destined to be. How beautiful. It’s time I start looking at the snowy days in my life with a new perspective.