4 Proactive Strategies to Help with Outings

“I have the best idea,” my daughter exclaimed. “We can go shopping!”

Panic struck me. No Way. Get out of this situation. Think of something fast.

“Please, please, please,” my daughter begged. “It’ll be a mommy and daughter day.”

My mind raced over past experiences: The time she frenzied over a gazillion clothes. The time she cried and insulted me because she didn’t get what she wanted. The time she had a meltdown and refused to leave the store.

“I’ll even bring my own money,” she pleaded.

My heart pounded but the desperate desire in her eyes softened my will.

“Okay. Fine. We’ll go.” I dreaded the outing but resolved to be proactive and to use some strategies from a book titled The Connected Child. They worked.

Here are the strategies and how I used them: Continue reading “4 Proactive Strategies to Help with Outings”

3 Ways to Fight the Good Fight

I remember the day well. Our third family therapist in three years greeted me and my husband with a smile as she led us into her office.  I forced a smile back but my frowns, crinkled above my nose, likely betrayed my true thoughts. Will you be the magic one who can help us make our adopted daughter behave?

Reality sunk in over time: There are no perfect solutions or cookie-cutter strategies. Every day is different, every situation is different, and behaviour issues change.

As parents, we are in this for the long haul. So how can we fight the good fight? Here are some thoughts based on 2 Timothy 2:3-6.                          Continue reading “3 Ways to Fight the Good Fight”

The Role of Compassion in Attachment

I thought my nine-year old daughter and I were in a good space.

“Mommy. Watch me do my gymnastics.”

I “ooohed” and “aaahed” as I watched her twirl and twist her body in ways I could only imagine doing. She soaked up my attention and beamed. Our half hour together felt blissful. But then, her mood changed. Continue reading “The Role of Compassion in Attachment”

Patience and 3 Corresponding Strategies to Diffuse Emotions

My husband and I adopted our daughter with the best intentions. My heart swells with love. Because that’s who I am, I naturally wanted to shower her with goodness, kindness and acceptance. So why, then, did I so often land in a pit of despair? Continue reading “Patience and 3 Corresponding Strategies to Diffuse Emotions”